RoboBro is a Robot who happens to love Football

Source

Crazy Robot destroying the house in Jumanji 2

I wrote this post last year, some things have changed since, but it still applies to this year and to RoboBro, it’s his birthday (yesterday that is, Blogger stopped me from posting it then >:< ) and I warned him of a bomb, well I hope you find it as funny as much as he will find it shocking (evil laughter).

My friends. Let me fill you in about a big family secret, my oldest brother is a robot, yes he is, it has been proved with excessive testing so please don’t argue with me over this one. I can also add that the day we saw the crazy broken robot in Jumangi 2 with its red eyes, and hot mists we all had the same feeling (my siblings and I) “Hey! Something strange is going on here.”

But after days of thinking I found the answer in what the robot was repeating again and again, because how can I not? That robot had the best line in the whole film, haha:

Emergency! Emergency!

Alien life form

Must destroy.

Yup, that’s my brother.

but ehem that’s not why we’re here.

Or is it?

The only activity I do with RoboBro is watching football, majority of games are Barca’s, and I genuinely think that he is the expert of all experts when it comes to football.

So I’m biased! Sue me!

He memorizes all players (worldwide that is), their nationalities, ages and different stages of their career, good and bad, new and old, also the teams, he remembers the smallest details of matches or world cups from stone ages! I mean he can trace things back to age six and five. He knows about all the rules, the tactics, the latest buzz, Everything. He is simply remarkable.

No really. If we have any football related question we go straight to him, and he always got the answer, when he says ‘I don’t know’ we think there is something wrong with the universe.

Now although he’s a Barcelona fan like me, sometimes I hate this, cause you know what? He could be at my nerves for one of these reasons or all together, which are also the evidence of the existence of his robotic cells;

1- He keeps repeating the same stories about the same people like a broken record.

(constant repeating, classic sign of a damaged machine)

He especially likes to repeat the boring story of “how could they (Barca managers or whoever) let Zlatan Ibrahimovich leave?”

Bro please, Ibra’s a great player but;

a) it’s been years now!

b) Leo scored 79 times last year (91 goals in general!!) and I’m only talking about scoring goals here, I know the two play in different positions. Spare me your wisdom Bro.

c) they brought David Villa (which is also history by now since Villa went to Atletico Madrid this season, what a LOSS!) give us all a break!

(Extra signs of a broken machine)

Villa, one of the greatest in Spanish football

Ibra the King

And he likes to speak his mind about Arsene Wenger, recite the history of specific teams (Valencia & Real Madrid only to name a few), and why not Barca buy a new defender? Of course I agree on the last one, but I sure had enough of the rest.

Arsene Wenger

2- He always cut’s me amid sentence and never gives me a chance to state my point. Ok so sometimes I’m guilty with this one too, if rarely though, anyway, since we have this in common I will shamelessly discard it as a robot related proof.

3- Sometimes he’s ruthless in criticizing or making judgments, Barca players included, Hell! Messi included! this I can’t stand, well yes there are 3 Barcelona players I don’t like, but Dude he bashes  Leo!

(Cold and practical, please tell me if this is not a classic of all classics when it comes to robots?)

Cold and Practical

4- He changes channel to watch another match when the Barca match has ended or is in its last minutes and therefore deprives me from witnessing the players’ final reactions and sometimes even Leo taking the ball after a hat-trick!

Side note: He will kill me if I do the same.

I guess this also falls under “Cold and practical”, cough*extra signs*cough.

He's ready to shoot me :(

5- And now ladies & gentlemen I give you the Ultimate Proof that my oldest brother is a true, genuine, 100% full loaded ROBOT; he would shut down completely or switch his mute button and sit there till the match ends, then abruptly leaves. (Strategykid, Missalwayswhining & I have been analyzing this behavior for years).

I don’t care if he hides a button here or there that he can switch OFF when he wants, or that he simply forgot to fill his tank, either way, Big Robot Sign! 

Source

Now I hate to admit that there are many similarities between him and me :P like how he also wanted to be an athlete when younger but couldn’t. It’s sad cause he had a better opportunity since he’s a boy, girls schools don’t do sports in KSA (hope that changed by now) and he was really good at football, at volleyball, even basketball, but for some reason or another my father refused that he has any relation with sports! I guess he thought it was a waste of time.

Now that we are at it let me tell you an even more irritating story, my old man himself was a referee when he was young, proved with pictures and everything. So imagine if he continued on that road and managed to climb the ladder? by now he could have been a big shot in FIFA, and Leo Messi or even the whole Barcelona squad would be dining at our house as a friendship gesture or whatever.

Every time I think about this I feel I want to scream out of my skin.

On second thought;

Ughhhhhaaaaa!!!!!

Why? Why?  whaaay??!!!!!

Bummer! Bummer! The Bummer Of ALL BUMMERS!!!

Come on, come on Girl! Toughen up! You’re not a kid anymore! Read;

“Self-pity is an acid which eats holes in happiness”

Ok, calm down, breath, your fine, everything will be all right. Now get back there and make me proud!

Wait a minute, what brought us here?
 

Ok, so the thing is, I really wish RoboBro writes a book about football, or have a job that’s football related, and write a book, he’s too old to play, but he is way better as an analyst or even a couch! I feel when I tell him these things he thinks I’m joking, but I’m not, he is an architect (like Daddy and JoySpoiler), and a pretty good one too, and I know I might be sounding a little childish right now but he should be working in his passion, football.

But hay that’s just me.

Happy Birthday Bro :)

source

Something Frodo-ish. The Bridge of Khazad-dym:

Suddenly, and to his own surprise, Frodo felt a hot wrath blaze up in his heart. `The Shire! ' he cried, and springing beside Boromir, he stooped, and stabbed with Sting at the hideous foot. There was a bellow, and the foot jerked back, nearly wrenching Sting from Frodo's arm. Black drops dripped from the blade and smoked on the floor. Boromir hurled himself against the door and slammed it again.

`One for the Shire! ' cried Aragorn.
 

Frodo Baggins, you’re one of your kind :)