Wednesday, February 5, 2014

IWSG or Your Captain: The Insecured

I always wanted to participate in the grand work of the Insecure Writer Support Group since I am an insecure writer by nature, seriously people, if there is a test for that I will pathetically pass with flying flags. I loved how each month various writers come together to flash that pretty badge and open up about their fears and doubts.

last year, when I started blogging, it was a new territory for me and I didn't wanted to push myself too hard and be part of something that demanded such a strong commitment and then, well, lose miserably, cause that’s what mostly happens with me. But I decided to be brave and participate this year, no matter how this ends I will come out a winner. It’s an honor to be part of this quite caring, sensitive and growing community.

Something extra: they have a lighthouse on their badge, and ya all know what a sucker I am for lighthouses ;)

Here goes nothing. Whatever plans I had for January, backfired. 

Why O Wise One you ask me?

I tell you, I decided to stop any writing activity to focus on my MA research. I needed every minute possible for my academics and writing didn't fit in that schedule (or so I thought). My writing plans included starting a new project on April ( a novel in Arabic that I want to submit to a contest), and at the same time work on finishing my manuscript from NaNoWriMo (The League), I kindda lost my fire after November, therefore, I set it aside. And of course there will be a different project for NaNoWriMo that I can’t wait to indulge in.
Everything went wrong, you see, it appears that, and what I came to realize afterwards, I’ve been writing for a long time, since 2009 when I first decided to write seriously, that not writing at all was no longer an option!
Funny huh? I lost my ability to concentrate and produce anything good in my research it was a huge set back, I just wasted my time going in circles and circles and depression caught up with me pretty early this year that it even terrified me.
now you might just say to me,
Come now Captain;
 Isn’t this your state of mind most of the year?
 OCDish, Anxious,  depressed!

Well yes, yes I confess to all this.
I do suffer from other troubles that turn me into a useless monkey mind zombie every now and then (if such a high degree of chaotic mind activity is even possible for a zombie) yet what makes this theory stand the test is that once I took the decision to open the league manuscript and commit to one line a day (one of my many experiments that helped me finish Nights) everything else fell into place and I found the strength and clarity to function as a human being again.
Cut to the cheese Captain!
Alright! alright, the moral of this story is:

Insecure writer I may be

But a factory that produce insecurity when not writing

 I am.
I now inform you that Yoda applauds this sentence structure

I’m a writer, that’s my truth. Period. wait and see ;)


  1. I love how you decided not to write but couldn't stop yourself! Now THAT's a writer! Welcome to the group :)

    1. Yea! it sounds silly now that I think about it! Ah well, one can't hide the truth for so long. Julie thanks for passing by, following my blog and your kind welcome, IWSG Rocks! :D

  2. Lucky girl, I almost had to record you as a no show for my co-host duties. Glad you posted today Haneen. Writing is in our blood, our souls...yeah writers love to write and you are one of us. Welcome to IWSG.

    ---Greetings from a February IWSG Cohost.

    1. Had some troubles with a very slooooow downloading but I wouldn't miss day one, that would be a shame! Yeah. anyway, Hey! what's with the Ghost? last thing I need right now is getting spooked! looooooool

  3. Hah, love this! I love that idea of one line a day because it's true ... by small things great things come forth. :)

    1. I have to say...having Michelle showing on my blog is the coolest thing EVER! and yes I agree with you, with a monkey mind like mine just a simple activity as one line a day equals actual work, true productivity! so yea, for now I'm sticking to that.

  4. Welcome to the IWSG!!
    You are hooked now. Just as I am. And I never even wanted to be an author. Guess you're going to have to keep writing. We'll keep each other motivated, all right?

    1. Sheena was right I'm one lucky girl! the Alex J. Cavanaugh himself has entered the building (honestly, since your the boss and you always happen to comment on almost every IWSG post I can find I was curious if you will comment on mine too, especially that I published this one pretty late!) anyway, Thanks for your comment and your kind welcome and YES please I am in need of every amount of motivation I can find, I'll do my best to help too ^_^

  5. Welcome to IWSG Haneen! It's great to have you here!
    And we're all struggling with writerly insecurities in one form or the other, so you're not alone!
    There are lots of writers to lend support, or a shoulder to cry on... the IWSG'ers are a FABULOUS bunch of people!
    Writer In Transit

  6. "I’m a writer, that’s my truth."

    That is fantastic. Welcome to IWSG.

  7. I love your post. I'm new here too and everyone has been very welcoming. Sometimes I don't get to write for a week or 2, but the itch always gets to me, lol, and I'm back at the computer. Whether I'm physically writing or not, my head always is!

    1. The itch, huh! tell me about it, my head is always writing, even if I'm not actually doing it :) thanks for your comment Leonie (I like your name by the way, very unique, I think I may steal it for a character!)