Wednesday, April 18, 2018

The Last Voyage: Phantom #AtoZChallenge

State Of Day. Just finished watching the Greatest Showman, dazzling film. Hold your breath and wait for Jenny Lind’s heart stealing performance of “Never Enough.” Playing her role the stunning Rebecca Ferguson.

Rebecca as Jenny Lind

How come I never heard of Jenny Lind  (1820 – 1887) before? Maybe because my interest in opera is quite shallow.
It is such a shame her crystal clear soprano voice was never recorded.

The real Jenny Lind



You know, I was sick for most of the day. I exhausted myself after a 4 hour car trip by doing serious house chores the next day.  I could’ve taken care of myself a little bit more, but the truth is I just didn’t care.

These days I’m feeling down more often than up. My optimistic nature and faith keeps pulling me from the ditch every time but I just keep falling much deeper. I may be going through a depression cycle, not new of course. Except there is something different this time.
Sometimes these days I don’t seem to know what I want or who I am anymore. Am I suffering from an identity crisis? At this age?!

But I do feel my life is slipping through my fingers unnoticed, unrecorded, unappreciated. Just slipping. I feel old and ancient. Tired.

When I first thought about the Sea Captain I was an oversensitive teenager with an imagination that runs wild all day every day. I was filled with large dreams and was curious about everything and ready to be owed by all I came across.
I was in college when the Sea Captain became me. My fictional self. And man what a life she lead.

She?…she is a larger than life character, a brave, inspiring, admirable young woman. Her voice is haunting, her words memorable. A true leader, someone the people in her world look up to. She’s far from perfect but is everything I wish to be and have. I created her to escape my difficult reality, I never expected her residency in my head will bring me such chronic pain years after.

But me…myself, my real life is far from that. Back then when I was a teenager I had dreams…till today they are still that, dreams. And that is indeed a sad fact.

I know I sound morbid today, but this is our last voyage together in this blog (the Sea Captain and me)  and I wanted to leave yet another genuine and personal piece of me here.

Touch my
Pain. Drug it
Induce dullness and kill

My Dream

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